Hallo-weekend and a Happy Sweetest Day

Well This past Saturday we decided to take a break from life and use these great BOGO free coupons we got for Cedar point and go to Halloweekends, We had a blast I did not ride any rides well except the Merry go round LOL but the kids road the kiddie rides and alyssa braved the Power Tower with Tim, Which she quickly said I want to go home half way up the ride LOL, But she went on and said it was fun but scary, We visited Carn Evil that scared the heck out of the kids but was fun, and a few of the other haunted attractions, We won games so the girls got My little Pony Stuffed Animals and then we also went in the game room and won 1144 tickets which won them a Shrek Barbie and a Disney Princess Purse and Earrings set, So all in all we had a great time and here are a few pics from the day. more are on my myspace profile if you are on my friends list you can check them out there.

Ashley on the classic Car ride

Alyssa on the boat rideAlyssa and Ashley on boat rideThe Monsters doing a line dance was pretty cute to watch them do the line danceAshley and Alyssa showing off there ponys that we won them.

PHYSICALLY, AND EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED :-(

Well today has been a physically and emotionally exhausting day, It was the last day of our funeral services and the hardest day ever. I cried so much today I thought I would die of dehydration. LOL But seriously I would not take a million dollars to re-live this day. It is hard enough the pain of losing a loved one, but to have to experience the hurt thru your childs eyes is even worse, I must say that she was really strong, the first day she cried at the first sight of him in the casket and was pretty strong once that first shock was gone, but today the last day of service the final goodbye, was so painful I would not wish it on my worst enemy, I felt her pain in my heart, I was hurting myself but to see her hurting was the worst part. The services were held in a baptist church in Detroit, (GOD"S HOUSE OF PRAYER) I have never been to a baptist church but It was a very lively experience, the service was really good, there were a few things they did that I found odd, but it was a African American funeral so I expected they do some things differently then what I am a custom to. But Like I said when I started this blog I am physically and emotionally drained so drained I can not even function to type all I wanted to tell everyone about the services maybe I will feel better tomorrow or a few days, So I am closing with a thank you to everyone for keeping us in your prayers, and I will write again soon I promise :)

THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO DO

Well this week has been one crazy week for me. I started a Diet, I thougth Tim was going to go to Jail for Child support issues but beyond all that, I got the worst news Thursday Night. I received a phone call from my oldest Daughters Step mother, She called to let me know that My daughters father passed away. Besides being in total shock. I was instantly in tears. When you have a child with someone no matter where your paths lead you after you still have a bond and connection and I am still in such a sad state. But to top it off I had to look at my 10 year old daughter and sit her down and explain to her that her father was dead. I can honestly say this was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. The hurt that she felt cut me like 10 thousand knives in my heart. with each of her tears I cried a million more, to see her go through such hurt and loss. We discussed everything about Death and I asked if she wanted to go to the funeral she said yes. Which I know is what he would have wanted. Even though he and I did not stay together I know he loved her with all his heart. And so now this Saturday we are headed to Michigan the funeral services are Monday and the final service is Tuesday. I pray to god that this not be too hard. I lost my father at 15 and I know how I felt I can not imagine how my 10 year old is feeling she has not said much about it today. But I am praying that things go well and that letting her attend is the right decision. Please keep us in your prayers and to all my Michigan family I will be up there for a week so I will try to get in touch with everyone bye for now.